Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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