I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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