her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
