loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
