my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
