I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
this must be what syphilis tastes like
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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