i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
