We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
