My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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