Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
