No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the day after is always just damage control
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize