An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
