what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It was confusing and full of hummus
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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