She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
