forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
