love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
