I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
