"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
