MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
