Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
