She announced her abortion via fbk
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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