morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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