sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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