You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
