Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
