Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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