I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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