the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
