that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Drake has all the answers
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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