My hair reeks of homosexuality.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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