new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it's like heaven, but drunker
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
