Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
What a dumb baby whore.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize