Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
