kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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