I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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