I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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