he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
