i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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