He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
