Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Come on in and take your pants off
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