you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
