i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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