Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize