The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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