what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
