The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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