how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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