It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
not ubering you a puppy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
