I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize