there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
