I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
a search helicopter?!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
