I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize