I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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