Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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