you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
