Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
