we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
