You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize