i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize