I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
