My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
