Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
