I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
