Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
