Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
