You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
literally had 100 drinks last night.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
