When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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